Do work...

"If I was a caveman I would club you right now. You would just be chillin' standing around the fire"

On bike seats...

"I'm telling you, that seat's NOT comfortable. One time, I went on a long bike ride and my penis went to sleep. Seriously dude, my dick fell asleep."

then later...

"You think it's funny now, but wait till YOUR dick goes to sleep. It's scary."

While drinking...

"I'm about to tackle a cow in the fuckin' parking lot."

Brother Jay

I'm gonna go and pop a wheelie in front of that fuckers place and say, "Look what my brother gave me."

Awww. Third grade class photo

Ladies

They all wanted to dress like ladies. I kept waiting for like an Indian or something to walk by, but it was just all guys dressed like ladies.

"OI"