Colin Pick Up Lines

"Do I look like a skinhead?"

Whipped

masochism n. 1. A psychological disorder in which sexual gratification is derived from abuse or physical pain. 2. The deriving of pleasure from being dominated or mistreated. [After Leopold von Sacher-Masoch (1836-1895).]

Colin-isms: Second Installment

Me: "I burned my tongue on my soup."
Colin: "I burned my forearm on my cigarette."
Me: "How?"
Colin: "I tried to throw a piece of gum out the window while I was smoking."

"They weren't like regular bears. They were, like, fit bears, with shaved heads and mustaches."

"Cut the Rug??"

"Preserve My Sexy" Jeopardized

Sean “P. Diddy” Combs filed a lawsuit against skincare maker Proactive Solutions, alleging that months after he became a spokesperson for the line, he began suffering from acne breakouts. Diddy asserts this damaged his reputation with fellow hip-hop stars and fans.
"I look foolish on an infomercial promoting a product for skin care and my skin still has bumps on it," says P. Diddy in a statement.
In the ads for Proactive, Diddy claimed that the product helped "moisturize my situation and preserve my sexy."Guthy Renker, the makers of Proactive, retaliated by filing a countersuit, saying that Diddy’s acne problems have nothing to do with their product, but instead is due to his other spokesperson gig with Diet Pepsi.
In the counter-suit, Guthy Renker claims that Diddy's consumption of sugary products such as Diet Pepsi has neutralized the cleansing effects Proactive Solution provides. "Even though Diet Pepsi has no calories, fat or carbs, it still contains aspartame, potassium benzoate, phosphoric acid and citric acid which can wreak havoc on skin," said a source at Guthy Renker. The Pepsi connection is sound, according to Dr. Julian Whitaker, who says that "aspartame has been proven to increase appetite, especially cravings for sweets."
As a result of his compromised “situation” and damaged “sexy”, Diddy wants his fucking money back.
"Proactive promises a risk fee, money-back trial," says Diddy. "After all I've been through, I want my money back and more."
- -source www.suicidegirls.com

"theres pirates next door"

"i coulda creamed that mutha....................DAGGERSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!"

"so do you ditch the accent when youre doing ...um ....important things?" this was in regards to our world saving, pioneer of homosexual frontiers sweet lisp/accent

Do Birds Even Have Tongues?

So, last Friday, both Colin and Dean coincidentally had the day off. They rode their bikes ALL over town. I have heard it told that they logged in over 20 miles.

I slaved all day, and when I was done slaving, I thought it would be a good idea to call in dinner at Curry House in Little Tokyo, so neither Dean nor I would have to concern ourselves with the answer to the age-old question that is almost certain to start an argument, "What do you want to do for dinner?" (Or the classic variation, thoroughly dreaded by one Mr. Hansen, "Where would you like to eat?")

Curry House it is. I pick up the food and just as I am walking to my car, so excited that I will soon take off the new shoes I have been breaking in all day, I get the call from Dean - "If it isn't too much trouble, can you get Colin some curry, too?"

So as I am pulling in to the LBC, I get the next call, "Meet us at Colin's boat and we will eat our dinner together there." Beautiful idea. It is sunset and it is really gorgeous outside. Can't think of a better idea than that.

I get to the Marina and the boys arrive soon after on their bikes. I run to use the restroom; they walk over to some picnic tables, because, as Dean so astutely points out, curry is messy and to go containers are unwieldy and we don't want to spill on the boat. When I return from my 3 mile hike to the boat owner's restroom, the boys are gone. They ended up eating on the boat after all because, as Dean described, "some hobo" walked up to them. Dean didn't even bother waiting to hear what this guy's line would be. Did he want change? Did he want a bite of Dean's food? We will never know because, not unlike my chihuahua, Dean, sensing the guy's change in direction and imminent approach to where they were seated, and without missing a bite, promptly picked up his plate and walked directly to the boat.

So we're eating on the boat and the inevitable happens. First, the lid to the cups for the curry flip off our laps and onto the boat deck, leaving a nice, thick curry smear all around our feet. Next, Dean pours curry all over his lap. We are all laughing at this point and Dean and I are apologizing that there is curry all over Colin's boat and we have nothing to clean it up with.

That is when Colin, after seeing one of the crapodactyls (AKA a heron, or other water bird), or hearing their piercing screeches, thought to himself, "Maybe the birds will lick it up." He didn't say that part, however. What he did say out loud, was his second thought, which was, "Do birds even have tongues?"

We love you, Colin

This inaugural posting kicks off what I hope will be a place for all of you fans of the Word of Colin to post your thoughts, memories, glad tidings and good wishes to someone I think we all agree is quite spectacular. Enjoy.

Colin-isms July 2006

"Cat's get them (herpes) in their eyes , huh?"

"Everytime I shave my head Dean thinks I've been working out."

"You know what I need to work on? I don't have a good wave."

"Now that Melissa schooled me on my tampon trick, I'm just gonna go pfffsssssh..."

"It sucks because when you have a deep voice, it just kind of blends in, and it's like vibration and they can't hear it."